Variety is the spice of life!

People want what they don't already have. Don't take it as a weakness. It's actually a fact of life and a trait inherent in every man, woman and child. Honestly, have you heard of anyone eating just long beans all day, everyday for the rest of their lives? Such an act is unthinkable because humans thrive on variety. Likewise, while making a conscious decisions to be faithful to one partner is a noble idea, it also goes against the core of human nature. So what to do? Keep changing, not partners but styles, positions, toys an props.

A friend kept a pair of handcuffs handy, another suffered in G-strings because it turned her hubby on. Be doctor and nurse one day, stripper and audience the next. Talk about things that turn both of you on as a precursor tot he real thing. After all, the brain is tech largest sex stimulant. Don't be shy. what you do behind closed doors is for the two of you alone. if you guys don't tell, no one else is going to know.

Keep your passion alive - part 3

Turn off the TV - You may see your loved one everyday but that doesn't mean you know hi, Take time everyday to talk, really talk. Not just smatterings of conversation like "pass the sugar", and "the curry's good", but discuss things that interest both of you. Talk about work, relatives, the kids, hopes and dreams. Talking builds intimacy after all you only talk to people you like. To get him talking, turn off the TV and radio and ban storybooks and newspapers from the dinning table. No one likes long drawn out silences. Trust me, he'll talk with some encouragement from you.

Make an effort - Remember how giddy headed he used to make you feel when he called you six times a day and sent you love notes? Now, many years on, you're wondering where did all that romance go? Everyone wants the easy life and men are no exception. Once handsome knight won the hand of fairlady, his job was done and he decided to hand up his armor. Your duty will be to make sure that armor doesn't get too rusty. Drop a handy hint or two when you feel neglected. Take a good look at yourself as well. Are you getting too busy for him? Are you still doing the things he loves? If you've neglected giving him a massage for years, now's the time to redeem yourself. For all you know, once you start trying he'll get into the mood of things and start spoiling you too!

Whenever you do, don't hem him in and make a demand. Men don't like feeling like the carpet's gong out from under their feet. Instead, gently point him in the right direction. Make it seem as though it's his idea. And when he finally gets you that platinum bracelet you've being hinting at for so long". Instead, thank him effusively. Reward him with an extra passionate lovemaking session. Next, he'll be wondering,"why didn't I do this sooner?"

Keep your passion alive - part 2

Don't be shy to show your affection for each other in front of the children.- Do it in front of the kids. Rather than embarrassing them and yourselves, seeing their parents so in love with each other will give your children a sense of security, that their parents' relationship isn't about to crumble like the other couples they know or have read about.

Love yourself - Being comfortable in your own skin is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Men love confident women because confidence is sexy. honestly, how attractive can a hangup-ridden, clingy, angst-filled person (all characteristics of insecurity) be?

Get a life - Many a male friend has confided that they wished their girlfriends/spouses would not cling so much to them. many Asian women think they have to sacrifice their lives for their man, the ultimate sacrifice begin to give up their friends and dedicate their time to their man. Well, draw the line at having your own social circle and agenda. They're essential. Your friends will be your support group when things don't go right with lover boy and they also make life more interesting. Just imagine how boring it would be if all his friends were your friends and all his social outings were yours? With both of you experiencing exactly the same things, what's left to talk about?

Keep your passion alive - part 1

How do you keep the passion alive long after that first flush of love has died down? Here are some great pointers that might help keep your long term relationship alive and kicking.

Admit defeat graciouslyy - Even when you may not totally be in the wrong. Saying, "you're right darling and I am wrong" keeps your man's ego intact and helps diffuse a potentially ehat3ed situation. Of course, there are limitations to this technique. Don't use it so often that you end up begin mistaken for a doormat.

Never let the sun set on your anger - This piece of advice may sound archaic but it's an important one to keep in mind. From personal experience, sleeping on one's anger doesn't cool one's temper. In fact, it gives one more time to stew in one's anger, therefore increasing one's resentment.

Talk things out - Another clicked but true piece of advice that really does wonders for an ailing relationship. Think of you unresolved quarrel as a humongous boil that throbs and aches no matter what you do. The only cure? Purging out the impurities within and voila, instead healing. Now, imaging what hashing things out can do for your relationship.

Be touchy feely -Don't think of getting married or being in a comfortable relationship as a license to take your loved one for granted. Make it a point to continue doing the things that made your relationship work when you first met. Hold hands, make goo goo eyes at teach other, pinch each other's butts.

What men and women want from a relationship?

A woman wants a deep relationship with a man who understands and accepts her and her feelings. She wants more intimacy, affection, commitment, companionship and respect. She wants help in resolving relationship conflicts. She want him to express his feelings particularly about her more often. She wants her man to be romantic. And she want good, satisfying lovemaking. That means sex within a loving, committed and intimate relationship with a strong, yet sensitive man.

A man wants to love and to be love but in different ways form women. Men are most comfortable expressing love through sex, through shared activities, through being a provider and through just being together. They want women to accept these actions as love. A man feels frustrated when a woman doesn't perceive his version of love as 'real love' or 'good enough', when she puts romance ahead of sex.

Afterplay

After-play is what turns a good sexual encounter into one neither for you will ever forget. So don't sell yourselves shot, guys. Don't roll over, fall asleep or race for a shower, a snack or a taxi. Don't cheat yourselves out of this gentle pleasure. Say something nice to her, listen to her say something nice to you. Stroke her, hold her, flatter her.

Why not? Even climaxing together isn't as personal and intimate and human as sharing each other's feeling after desire has been spent. Hardly any woman takes sex lightly. Even promiscuous girls, especially them are hoping with all their hearts for love. They are investing a wealth of dreams and fantasies in sex with you. Of course, not every encounter ca be the start of something big who knows that better than you, gentlemen?

No matter how brief, how unplanned, how ill-advised or even illicit, every time you make love you are involving another human being with a full set of emotions and insecurities, one who is worthy of respect. To lead her on with false promises is beneath contempt. If you consider yourself more than just another greedy slob and if you deserve the tile of lover, then do make that telephone call she is certainly waiting for tech next day, send her flowers or at the very least write her a toe to tell her she's terrific and you'll never forget her. Because when the love making is all over, it's up to you to make sure she can look back on your time together with pride and that you can too.

Good Marriage

According to experts, there are things that a wife should never say to her husband or a husband to his wife. Continue from my last post, here are the remaining 5 things that shouldn't be said to your mate.

You don't really love me, "No man enjoys being nagged into reassurances of his love, and most resent repeated demands to prove their feelings"

I think he's really attracted to me. "You can never be sure how a man will react when his jealousy is aroused. Some men might retaliate with flirtations of their own."

You were much better looking when... "Men are as sensitive as women about their appearances and most don't want to be compared unfavorably with anyone - not even their former selves."

Promise you won't tell a should. "If you pass along details of a friend's private life, your mate may suspect that you've traded secrets of your own for those details and that might jeopardize his trust."

I don't know what to do - tell me. "This sets him up for blame if things go wrong. Make decisions and take responsibility for them."

Never say these to your wife

You let the kids get away with murder. "He should realize that he is probably never there when the children misbehave most -during and the day and that she has the responsibility of disciplining them."

Is this mulligatawny soup meant to taste of cloves? "Don't be over-critical of your wife's culinary efforts. Even the simplest recipes can go wrong. You'd know this if you were to dabble in cooking yourself. If you can't do better keep quiet and be thankful that you have a wife who tries hard to keep your stomach happy."

You've lost all your old sex appeal. "Who hasn't? Have you bothered to take a close look at yourself lately?"

You watch too much television. "Viewing helps a woman relax after a hard day's chores."

You never really loved me. "Never make such damning accusations; they may open serious emotional wounds and set the stage for future arguments."

Ten Commandments for happy wife.

Pamela Brown, a London marriage guidance counselor, dug into her case histories and came up with the following which husbands should never say to their wives. Here are the first 5 commandments.

How can yo be too tired. you've been at home with the kids all day while I've been out a to work. "Most men don't appreciate that looking after the home and children can be just as frustrating, stressful and aggravating as a day in the workplace. They should try making the beds, clearing up, preparing meals and getting tech kids bathed for a change."

What did it cost? "A husband who constantly queries the price of things - even when his wife has been clever enough to pick up something that looks expensive but actually wasn't may quickly find that she will retaliate with some super expensive purchases, on the joint account or credit card. Far better to be diplomatic and touch the subject in a more subtle way."

What have you done to your face? "If a wife has spent hours trying to achieve a new look she'll resent begin told she hasn't made a good job of it, simple because it doesn't come up to his expectations."

Sorry we're late, she was ages getting ready. "Even if she was, it's only because she wanted to look her best and to be a credit to her partner."

You're just like your mother. "Feeling towards parents should be a taboo subject. It is dangerous for one partner to feel that the other thinks unfavorably about their second most special person."

Taboo topics to avoid

According to psychologist Dr Michael Lillibridge, author of The Love Book For Couples here are the first 5 of 10 things a wife should never say to her husband:

I told you so. "It damages a man's self-esteem to imply that you are smarter. Men don't like to have their intelligence attacked by wives."

You'll never guess what your mother/father told me. "He will resent you being privy to family matters not revealed to him."

You have no feelings. " Men have been conditioned to remain cool and rational, but they have the same feelings as yo have and will be hurt if you say they don't."

Boy, am I an idiot! "It's terribly burdensome for a man constantly to hear about the things you've done wrong. Your urge to confess as a way of seeking sympathy when you've goofed is likely to backfire."

You're no good. "If you';re angry, tackle the issue without resorting to put-downs."

Key to a good marriage

Communications may be the key to a good marriage but there are some things you simply shouldn't say to your mate, if you want to preserve the relationship. And they're not world-shattering things, either. Just little slips of the tongue such as "You 're just like your mother (or father),' or 'You've changed since you were younger...' can do much more harm than you might imagine.

That's the view of a number of psychologists and marriage therapists who drew up a Ten Commandments-style list of things that are best left unsaid if you want to stay happy.

Coming up next.......